December 2011
6 posts
“My angels aren’t fucking prepackaged bull shit, Ben. I’m not a...”
– Stephanie Parker
“I can’t drink through this straw, it’s tighter than my pussy”
– Stephanie reverse being a man
“Have you ever been so horny you feel like a nicktoon?”
– Tina Brown
5 Songs off "El Camino" - new Black Keys album →
Thanks to Stephanie for showing me this. Little Black Submarines is a pretty magical song, even if it does sound too much like Stairway to Heaven at first.
November 2011
16 posts
“Got peed on by a dead dog today. I’m not gonna explain that any further”
– Tyler
Anonymous asked: Not only do I like your blog (haha I found it) but I also am OBSESSED with you secretly. Ok here we go.. I got this idea from a Tumblr spam I got once lol.. I think you like me too and you were always too shy to admit it :3 go to crushmatches(dõt)com (wtf it wont let me link regular) and make an account there. Then look up the profile 'gottagetme19' (me obviously) I left body...
“I just missed seeing a cat enema today”
– Tyler
“I was staring at poop through a microscope searching for microbial life”
– Tyler my roommate. I enjoy our conversations
"She thinks I'm cool, so we make out with... →
This is worth a read.
October 2011
16 posts
First phone call went exactly as planned.
Ben: ...and then Prince Charles says, "Wow, your girlfriend is beautiful." and I say, "Thanks Prince Charles, but I don't own her, so tell it to her and go the fuck back to Buckingham Palace."
Steph: Wow.
Ben: And that's how we met the Prince.
-Her phone dies and I immediately pass out.
Aunt caroline died. driving to ohio weekend of oct...
-My mother is a no bullshit lady. Especially when texting.
September 2011
13 posts
I bought a Halloween Horror Night Frequent Fear...
Sept. 23, 24, 29, 30, Oct. 2, 6, 7, 9, 13, 14, 16, 19, 20, 21, 23, 26, 27, 28, 30 & 31.
These are the days I get to go. Plan accordingly.
One of the best days followed by two shit ones. I...
Tensions rise as the show approaches.
Johnny: fartbrain. So I guess practice wednesday?
Me: I work at 1pm on wed
Johnny: damn it. thurs?
Me: That I can probably do
Johnny: fri?
Me: I can't imagine they would work me that many hours. I have to look at my schedule John
Johnny: jesus ben. jesus god
Me: I'm sorry that I have a family of myself to provide for
Johnny: jesus. provides for all.
Just downloaded some Billy Joel for Rock Band 3
I have the keyboard controller…This is gonna be the best 9/11 ever.
Johnny: he told his mom that he smoked pot and also that I did
Me: Good move
Johnny: and she kind of green lit smoking at her house
Me: Swoosh
Johnny: "as long as we smoke inside" I believe was the rule
Me: lolwut
Johnny: yeah
My sister got a job as a photographer for her school newspaper. Two weeks into college and she’s already cooler than I ever was.
